Another mindless day with a short meditation at the beginning. Mindless meditation. Woke up at 12pm something, went to sleep around 4;30am, maybe later. All world is upside down for me. Still possessed by demon. Gluten-free diet my ass. I ate a few delicious loafs of bread. Also water challenge not going well, not to mention about exercise or any other so called meaningful productive activity.. The joy of life, huh? I feel its almost like too late to change. Maybe I just have to embrace my habits and the way I am. With all the garbage inside or outside. It also doesn’t sound that appealing to my intellectual side – that puffed-up wannabe super-successful well-balanced, always sharp, wise and peaceful ghost – who yearns for control but can’t have it. Acceptance is painful but so is change. What lot is mine?


3 thoughts on “Day 23

  1. I’ve been meditating since 2003 or 2004 – I don’t know quite when I started – it was a sort of an on and off type thing. I would go for long periods of meditating and then would stop – for no reason other than laziness. But in 2011, I started meditating again in earnest and haven’t stopped. It’s completely changed my life. I’m doing my own experiment with binaural beats (will conclude that next week – after an 8-week stint with it) and have gone on meditation retreats. I can tell you that if you stick with it, the rewards will change your life. You can’t meditate BECAUSE of the rewards it offers, but because they occur alongside looking within. That said, some experiences I’ve had while meditating make it worth it to keep going – if but just to experience those from time to time. 🙂
    Good luck on the rest of your experiment. You’re at the “why the hell am I doing this stage?” It means you’re growing and it’s making a difference. I promise. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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