Getting back on track. Still nothing accomplished though. Internet. That ultimate distractor. Vampire of life. Meaningless trivia, nonsense-talk. I’m feeding on that shit instead of improving myself or getting better, wiser, healthier and stronger. But at least I feel that my mind is returning back to me (or I am returning back to my mind) after being on hiatus for the past 3, 4 days. Again meditated 8 minutes. I don’t know if you can call that meditation. I tell you what i do when i meditate. So here’s the deal, let today serve as an example– I woke up at 12pm something, my head is pulsating, I am feeling bad about the wasted time yesternight and that I went to bed at around 4:30am. My body aches and itches. My eyes are still half-closed. I feel sick. Somehow I drag myself out of my laying state to reach a hunchback-sitting position on my bed. I turn to my smartphone, find my Buddhist Meditation app, press play and it begins. For 8 minutes. I sit. Full with thoughts. Images. Nonsense and trivia that I absorbed the night before. But one thought nags and bothers me out of many others. It says – pay attention to your breath, count your exhales. I try to listen to this thought and do what she says. But I never succeed. Other thoughts intervene. So I meditate. Started from the bottom, now we’re here.


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