Day 5

Woke up at 10:00. Went to bed at about 3:20. Had a very bad sleep. Thus no energy today. Played chess and more chess in a half-zombified state. All day chess. Except as soon as I woke up , I meditated for 7 minutes. So to say. Feeling dizzy and unwell today. No wonder why. I have to pull myself together. I have to pull the switch as soon as I notice these nonsense circles to take shape. Or it is going to kill me. It is already killing me. I feel like I’m in a bad dream, except I don’t have seven lives and I don’t know how to wake up. Why am I doing this to me?  What a different world it would be if I had no internet and no computer… Blame modern technology for my laziness and problems. Excuses. Tomorrow. Let tomorrow be different.

Day 4

Woke up at about 10:00am. Went to bed at 1:00.am. Not the best quality of sleep. Pulsating sensation in my head. I meditated for about 7 minutes. Nothing major, just the beginning. Then spent some time on the internet doing nothing of importance. Then read about 30 pages of Kahneman’s book. Have to do more. Played chess several hours. Still no change in that regard. Will exercise now. No excuses. Late at night I feel that I can change more than in the early mornings. But as soon as I wake up, bad habits take over, no mindfulness yet in my actions.